please critique this design

[CajunDave]

i had a customer come in and asked for a front view of a train . wants it in color and told me to do my thing with it. im having trouble coming up with something im happy with. ive done 3 different ones so far on paper with over 10 hours invested already and my head is starting to spin. i need a critique on the layout and colors. this is a rough pen and marker drawing so i wasnt trying to make it perfectly clean so dont critique that aspect please.

im pretty sure im either gonna bring the bottom flames in closer as i feel they are kinda overpowering that size or im gonna completely take them out and do something else right there instead. please give me your opinions on this i want knock this design out the park.

18830

[OwlsDen]

I like the design how it is. I don't get the significance of all the imagery. I would simplify the design. The train and smoke are great. Do you really need the wings an blue flames? Why can't it just be an awesome train? I don't want you to think I am coming down on your design, I think it is awesome. I just think that sometimes we over think stuff and feel the need to pile in a bunch of things that don't matter. The design is great but maybe it just needs to be a train without all the other stuff. It's strong enough to stand on its own.

[CajunDave]

just from a few things he mentioned on why he wanted the train. he dad died and loved trains ( hince the wings and the train ) i love eyes (hince the eyes) and i put the glowing teal/turq. color under the front guard and was like oh this looks cool i should throw in some flamage . dude also mentioned he likes ghostly/sinister imagery. but he also said to just do my own thing . i do feel like the flames and wings are taking away from the train. i would love to keep the wings ....maybe take the flames out and just leave the teal glow and dont have it extend out very far? i dunno. dude mows grass for a living too he is pretty tan.

[OwlsDen]

Whatever you do, it will be a killer piece. Maybe fade the wings to black at the tips so you don't need as much detail. There is a lot more detail in the wings than the train, and I think it confuses the design. Maybe tighten up the flames and pull them in closer like you said, might even say maybe the flames could be red and the wings teal. Man, maybe I am over thinking it now. I am sure you will make a cool tattoo.

[CajunDave]

i know right !! ive gone beyond over thinking this tattoo ive worked on it solid for 2 days and i have 24 hours to finalize the design . my heads gonna explode.i think i just need to walk away from it for a while.

[serial1313]

I like the blue in the flames, but I think this design is stronger w/out them. I would take them out & roll w/ it. The only problems I had w/ this design is the wings being seen though the fire & the flames in front of the train. If you get rid of the fire it solves those problems & it doesn't take away from the main subject.

[The Limey]

Wings morphing out of the smoke might balance it out/make it easier to read

[Tazman]

I too think the flames should go. Also when I first look at the image my eyes are drawn to the eyes in the wings. I think if u toned down the wings a little and removed the eyes in the wings and remove the flames, this would be a very solid piece.

[nivek]

Maybe simplify the wings into a dark blue or black from the tips in, without the linework or less. I like the smoke but yes it unnecessary. If the wings morphed into the smoke maybe.

Looks good though

[Scentless Apprentice]

Where abouts is this to be placed on the body?

[CajunDave]

outer arm from ditch to top of shoulder so its gonna be big.

the smoke from the top of the train is gonna cover up a shitty skull. im thinking of kicking the flames and keeping the blue as a background pop color. im gonna leave more space between the wings and the train and im gonna reverse the dark shading on the wings going from the outer tips instead. i only have the cool grey markers but when i tattoo this im gonna use cool greys on the wings in lighter shades and use dark warm greys on the actual train to help the seperation. eyes on the wings are to badass looking for me to drop it im thinking of making them less intense though color wise and save the color for the eye in on the nose of the train. the eyes on the wings are gonna wrap a bit around his arm so should be a major focal point when viewing the tattoo head-on.

[chris-in-cali]

dont think i have seen anyone put the "all see'er" in the train like that before.

i would wear that in a heart beat bro...

[Scentless Apprentice]

To be honest, I quite like it as it is. Good work, an awesome tattoo will most definitely come of this

[mikebeecherart]

Awesome design. The thing I like most about it is definitely the colors. I would change the little part where the flames come out in front of the train, I would also play around with the bell, and the smoke stack. Other than that, I think it is awesome. I'm not to keen on symmetrical pieces on arms though, unless it is an inner forearm piece on someone that isn't planning on sleeving up.

[Alie K]

I really like the design. I think it's supercool! Only thing that bothers me is all the negative space between the wings and the smoke at the top. If anything, I might bring some flames up behind the wings to give them a little depth and have them peeking over the top to help fill that in. I think it would make the piece look nice and full- maybe even exp-nd the smoke out a tiny bit so the flame tips could overlap it.
I'm looking forward to seeing what you do with this!

I'll also admit, I'm jealous of your copic skills! I'm a bit of a copic spazoid. Maybe you'll post a tutorial someday! ;)

[bluerocker]

Great design mate,,, another suggestion,,, I would lose the flames also,,,,replace with a 'ghosty ' steam look,,, use the teal in the background like ya said with black whips off the piece,,, and maybe consider reshaping the wings up more to counter the gaps,,, just another angle,,, sure it will be rad however ya do it dude

[CajunDave]

thanks for all the feedback guys so many options!

[devans]

I agree with Ali k . . . . . To much space between the flames and smoke. Beef up the smoke a bit and it will be awsome . . . . And mabe simplify the wings a bit to bring the focus back to the train a bit more..............PERFECT.

[CajunDave]

well i spent another 6ish hours working on this design......stayed up super late last night. when he got here we really thought it through....put it on his skin and decided to drop the wings and the flames and just make the train bigger ....lol.....
so about 14 hours or so doing like 6 different versions and we ended up doing the first one i did in 45 minutes. also the skull coverup part was bigger then i remembered so the smoke stack cloud is a bit bigger then i had anticipated. i can post some pics later.

[serial1313]

Hahaha! That sucks about the time spent, but that is also 14 more hours of experience too.